Today I learnt that nobody else will prioritise me except me.
The day started off on the wrong foot and became a series of trials with me knowing I needed to put myself first, take time out, but not being able to for one reason or other. I guess an emergency is an emergency, for everything else there is, as the Cornish would say, ‘dreckly’. Perhaps this is what I need now? I’ve always been a doer, a thinker, a hard worker, but often that leaves little room for being, healing, resting and recuperating, and we all have to find our own balance that means we can continue our lives in a sustainable, ongoing fashion and not get burnt out. I know people who have, myself included, and it’s not ‘good’. I don’t think the details are required, just the general lesson, but I did get a headache and felt sick, coinciding with ‘things’ I was doing! It does feel good to connect so directly, though.
I used HSZSN and master symbol to try to find my cat who had been missing for two days, but she strolled in anyway, in no particular haste. Perhaps she did hear me?
How to accomodate others going about their tasks and duties? I’ve always hated my space being invaded, and this remains an issue. How to accomodate others when their views differ so radically from mine and I suffer as a result of their ignorance? How to give myself permission just to do things for me, and me alone, when many other calls for help and attention are constantly popping up?
So often as women we are taught to put others and others’ needs before our own, and this can lead us to totally neglecting them altogether, as priorities change and we find ourselves left behind, in the never ending list of jobs, or children or partners or work. I think this is pretty old news! But actually feeling this happen in real time has only just cemented in me the huge difference between knowing something and acting on that knowledge.
Drinking water at least helps ‘flush it all through’, and I’m doing plenty of that.
I think I will write off this day in terms of much.