I woke depressed, angry, upset and fed up in general. Part ‘visit hangover’, part grief and anxiety. I also experienced a bit of ‘acting out’. Frustrated by the feelings I am having which always then make me dislike myself.
Gradually over the course of the day it got better and more comfortable in my body. I visited Wolf’s grave to check the candles, which had gone out in the rain last night, and to clear a few more of the brambles away too, as well as position some logs and twigs to make the area more identifiable as it tends to get over-grown very quickly.
I’ve neglected my practice somewhat over the past few days so it is likely that had been unsettling me as well as all the external events happening to me. I continued reading the book ‘Practicing the Power of Now’, as well as watching a romantic comedy, something that might seem like a contradctiction, but I find the silence more distracting at times that a background noise I can use to ‘tune out’ everything else!
In fact the film was in parts very poignant and as it was set at Christmas time, quite emotive in a comforting way. I don’t usually watch that sort of film so it must have been chosen on a more subconscious level, it did seem to me relevant, and ‘fitted in’ somehow to the end of the day. I’m glad I also remembered my B12 injection, which was a bit over due!